Love and The Need for Boundaries

Zeus

     I will be the first to admit I have a ton of embarrassing and affectionate nicknames for Brutus and Grace.  He is "Bru-Tabulous!" "Stripe-a-Dog" "Broo-bus-face" and "Broopies" at times.  Grace is "Roo" "Princess Fluffy" "G-funky!" and "Gracie".  I often refer to them as my fur-babies, or fur-kids.  However, this does NOT mean I forget for a moment that they are dogs.  It does NOT mean I do not love them enough to provide boundaries and guidance to create an environment where they can learn, grow and thrive.

     This is not a halfway house where the primary concern is getting food in their bellies, getting them up to date on vaccinations and having them spayed or neutered.  Those needs are basic and must be met first.  But after that, I love my dogs enough to recognize that they are intelligent, and can get bored or endanger themselves with their curiosity.  I love them enough to see that they have energy that should be directed towards tasks they are suited for.  I love them enough to take the time to study and learn more about them as a species, instead of simply assuming they will like the things I want them to.

     Intelligence is always a double-edged sword.  Everyone I have spoken to always includes "smart" in their laundry list of traits they wish for in a dog.  Sometimes however, we are not prepared for the fact that most dogs use their intelligence for self-serving purposes. At some point, a responsible owner must be willing to step up and say "NO."  An intelligent dog dog not simply need to be walked and petted daily.  They need more than your daily amusement to encourage them to not become destructive.  They need guidance and interaction through training and daily routine to learn what they are allowed and expected to do.  They need boundaries to stop them from harming themselves.

     A healthy dog will have lots of energy.  This means spending time with them actually DOING things where the dog can move around, and must think to come to a satisfactory solution.  Even when playing fetch, which my dog views as a game, there are still rules to be followed.  She must sit to offer me an item to throw.  She can run and play with it, but she is not allowed to put her mouth on my hand, arm or any other part of my body, and she must relinquish the item at my request.  The game is not safe unless there are rules.  The boundaries I impose keep her safe.  If I allow her to hop up and try to grab the toy without paying attention to where her mouth is, she could inadvertently nip or bite someone else or myself when playing.  If it breaks the skin and medical treatment is sought, it is classified as a bite, regardless of lack of intent.  I refuse to endanger my dog that way.  Even when we are burning away excess energy, there are still clear boundaries for what is and what is not allowed.

Maple and Morgan

     Have you ever heard about dogs who chew up nice, new, expensive dog beds as soon as they are left alone with them?  As humans we exclaim our disappointment and frustration, lament about money wasted, and sometimes scold the poor dog.  If we stepped outside the bipedal box, we should only be scolding ourselves.  A dog likes to chew.  It did not pay the money for the bed, so does not know how to value it in those terms.  If you simply put the new dog bed in the crate, or on the floor, and left the dog alone with it, how is it different than any other dog toy you have presented?  If you want a dog to know what to do with a particular object or situation, you need to show it what you want.  Show the dog what you want it to do, multiple times.  When you assign a reward, make sure it's something the dog actually values, not what you think they should like.  Just because YOU label something as "good" or "desirable" does not mean your dog will (and same goes for "bad" things too).  Without knowing at least the basics of canine ethology, it is easy to be misguided. 

     So in short, yes, I love my dogs very much.  But I love them enough to set boundaries for their health and well-being, and always remember that they are only going to view this world as a dog does, not necessarily how I do. 


     For help with your dogs, please feel free to contact me.  pawsthenplay@gmail.com

Dog Training Question: Angry at the Barking Dog

     Earlier today I had a caller ask if it was wrong that when her dog barks, she gets annoyed and yells at the dog to "Hush!".   The caller loves her dog very much, but sometimes the seemingly random barking just pushes her buttons.  So she became frustrated.  When she was talking to me about it, she became upset that she was angry with her dog. 

     I explained to her that most dogs use barking as an alert.  It could be "Hey! I heard a big truck go by! Did you hear that truck go by!" or "That darned squirrel is here again, can you believe it!" or "I'm craving attention, I bet this will make you look!"  Regardless of the reasoning at any given moment, if you want to replace it with another reaction first you have to emphasize that you like something else more, and are willing to give it attention.  Until you have spent enough time to really show and reward your dog for alternate behaviors, it is unfair to expect them to show you different responses.

     If the dog barks to alert to an occurrence and the human yells, this opens the door to misinterpretation.  On one level, if the alert was due to a stressor (loud noise, energetic new dog arriving etc.) and the human yells, the dogs sees the human following it's lead to shout as a reaction.  This can exacerbate the barking.

     The irritation the human projects to the dog changes that human slightly, the hormones and body language.  We may gesture with bolder, faster movements.  The chemical change in the body (adrenaline, catecholamines, blood pressure change) is completely detectable to your dog.  It knows you are stressed too, which can compound and intensify the situation.

     So take a deep breath caller!  If you are unhappy with your results, the easiest way to find relief is to change your approach.  During quiet calm times, take a few moments to re-train a simple command such as sit, or down.  When the dog performs, be sure to reward with plenty of attention.  The more often a behavior is rewarded, the more likely the dog is to repeat it!  So the next time you hear that bark, go back to the simple command.  The calmer you stay about it, the easier it is to convey the message to your dog- "I'd rather you do THIS."

     I saw a post the other day online that was intended for child care but I think it is applicable here: "The more words you use when a [dog] is incorrect or acting out, the less effective you become."

     As always, if you have a question, please contact me directly at PawsThenPlay@gmail.com.  Happy training!



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